Monday, June 2, 2008

Guide To a Sucessful SITCOM

Here's a list of what I think is a sucessful TV Show.

1.Introduction must have each cast member preoccupied with an activity. Once the camera zooms in, they are required to acknowledge you with a smile.
2.Door must always be unlocked for random people to walk in.
3.When whispering a secret to someone, one must talk at the same volume as they would in a regular conversation.
4.During conversations between characters, extras in the background must also be conversing, but must not use their voice.
5.During morals, sad music must play until issue is resolved with audience applause.
6.Climatic or serious events in the story must cut to a commercial break with an INSANE guitar riff.
7.Establishing shots of locations must be photoshopped to look very generic. For example, instead of a Raley's. The show must blur it out, and put GROCERY STORE in big bold letters.
8.Whenever someone eats, it must be in little bits.
9.Always have a dumb or nerdy character.
10.Do not show the opposite side of the room, it will cause a APOCALYPSE.
11.Although some of the families are Middle Class, the set should show alot so they can walk around. Meaning even if they are Middle Class; living rooms, kitchens, and bedrooms must be huge and ballin.
12.Last minute of the show must either fix the moral, or a have a scene that has nothing to do with the story. Preferably a joke.
13.There is no such this as Pepsi or Coke, there is only COLA.
14.When playing videogames on the screen, the sounds should be very generic.
15.Air Jordans must be spotted at least once.
16.When talking about stuff in the past, character must not talk..but rather look into the sky until the flashback plays out by itself.
17.There are no outdoors, only landscape paintings.
18.At least one character should have a signature trademark. For example, "CUT IT OUT", "DID I DO THATTT", "FEENY, FUH FUH FUH FEENY", and "I GOT THE BLUES".
19.All families celebrate Thanksgiving, Halloween and Christmas. And there must be at least one problem during one of those holidays.
20.End Credits shows a montage of the whole show.